Sunday, July 25, 2010

Routine.

According to one PaleoArchaeologist i recently met (yes, that's right) there have been at least five major extinction events (a.k.a. mass extinctions) in the history of the Earth.  (Ok. nerds, i know that arguably there are upward of twenty mass extinctions based on periods when the rate of extinction increases with respect to the rate of speciation...but she was of a more conservative mind and was on the team that believed a more stringent criteria needed to be met before the term "mass extinction"  could be trotted out; and since she was holding the big ass  Euoplocephalus femur and i wasn't, i decided i'd take her word for it.)

Today my children were all sitting around the den like many other Sundays past, watching their father and their uncle engage in a grueling game of golf (on the Wii) while their jovial brotherly banter, discussion of proper putting techniques, and general philosophies and pontifications on life carried through to the kitchen - where i stood laughing to myself, as usual, as i brewed another pot of coffee and pulled some meat and vegetables out to thaw for Sunday dinner.  I was chuckling to myself and enjoying this brief moment of pleasure (my poor babies have been sick all week and all together miserable) when i reflected on my own Sunday's growing up.

My father's parents lived five minutes away, and though they were over every Mon. thru Fri. to see my brother and i off to school, then walk us home from the bus stop, most Sunday's they would be over for whatever my mother was cooking up special in the kitchen.  While my brother and i did homework - my mother toiled over the most wonderful comfort foods (pot roasts, spaghetti and meatballs, lasagna, fried chicken cutlets, pork chops, etc. etc.)  that made my house smell cozy and inviting and down right homey - in the summer, my Dad would grill, the smell of booze, charcoal and cigarettes in the air.  Though fraught with daily anxieties (im sure), i recall these habitual Sunday dinners fondly - as warm family times - full of noise and laughter, good food, and love.  Though they seemed to take up most of my childhood, year after year if you asked me then, they ended all too soon when both my grandparents passed in the time of a month, over a cold, lonely winter before i was 13.  I guess you could say in the short history of our lives, we've suffered "extinctions."  Each marked, quite clearly, the end of one time period in my family's life, and the beginning of another.  I look back at my life and i can see the pattern - the rise of good times, good people; a routine - and then the slow, but all too sudden, fall that finally ends with us scratching our heads, looking down at our empty hands, and those wobbly steps toward the beginning of a new day.

Will my children remember these days? - brief certainly in the grand scheme of things - but the hallmark of their childhood "Sunday's" - a memory of better days, and happy times that, like all things, will one day become extinct.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Rough Day

Dont want to know anyone today!  Um, so, who wants to come over and help me?

Monday, July 19, 2010

Remembering You - Villanelle

Oh love of mine will you return?
I know, you've left but please recall
i caught your eye and heart did earn.

Caught your eye when tears did burn
caught your cheek when tears did fall
caught my breath on earth and fern.

Yet, my breaking heart you cannot discern
pressed above your frame, slender and tall?
Dont tell me here i'm not free to yearn,

Away from you im not free to yearn!
There broken fists splash the wall;
Oh love of mine will you return?

Like wintry ice your fingers burn
Dont touch me there my faith's too small.
Oh love of mine, too late i've learned.


The wind blows my hair and my dreams will churn
beneath these trees once and for all.
On i grope beneath this canopy, my urn.
On i remain until, my love, you return.

Point of Interest #2 - You're not who I thought you were A.K.A 2nd Chances

So, the other day i mentioned there were two articles i found to be mildly thought provoking on HuffingtonPost.com, and then never got around to mentioning the second...this was because i rambled on for so long regarding SYTYCD, i figured i better give it a rest and come back to POI later.
Later being now i suppose.
http://www.popeater.com/2010/07/14/whoopi-goldberg-mel-gibson-the-view/
Now, it is purely coincidence that for the 2nd time in a week i mention The View and Whoopi Goldberg.  As i said, i was on HP and saw this article "Whoopi Goldberg defends herself defending Mel Gibson."  I, like many of you, have an opinion on the former movie star's antics - but i figure, i dont need to be one more person adding to the noise...rather, its a curious thing Goldberg standing up for him. (I invite you to check out the link here)...
"I know Mel, and I know he's not a racist. I have had a long friendship with Mel. You can say he's being a bonehead, but I can't sit and say that he's a racist having spent time with him in my house with my kids. I don't like what he's done, make no mistake."
Vehemently heated remarks poured into Goldberg's office and let forth their own phone message tirades (come on people, pot - kettle here), to which the View star responded with her own fervid words...
"There has been a lot of hassle ... in the media recently about moi because I had the audacity to say that I had some personal time with Mel that goes over years and years and said that I did not think of him as a racist," Whoopi began on 'The View' today.
If you had actually watched the show, you would have heard us say, and you would have heard me specifically say, 'I don't condone this. I don't think this is right, I don't think this is smart. But here's the piece of information that I have. My experience tells me that this is not a racist,'" she continued.
Being a black woman, you'd think you would give me a little bit of leeway to have some feelings if I was around a racist.
You can kiss my behind!"
This whole thing got me thinking, not about Mel and his idiocy, not about Whoopi and her situations with the viewers....but about people and their relationships with others.  For better or worse, Goldberg, having spent time with the man and considering him a good friend, Stood Up for his character even when it was the unpopular thing to do.  (You'll notice i say character and not Behavior, because there is a distinction.)  Dont we, shouldnt we all do this???  Even when our friend is being a butt-hole, if they are truly our friend, wont we rush to their side?  Isn't that just instinctual?  Does that make us better people or worse, I wonder??? I think also part of being a good friend is then pulling them aside and privately kicking them in the ass for shitty behavior. "WTF Man?  If you EVER pull that crap again, you are on your own MF!"  Well, maybe not quite so nastily, but you know, in your own softer, gentler way.
Is there a point (short of murder and the other obvious BIG no-no's) our friends can go too far?  Does that mean we never really knew them at all?  I think of people i would have sworn i knew their character, and then after years of friendship pulled something so shocking it was like looking at a stranger.   Can we believe it was all a facade for all these years? or is their nature really that of the kind, compassionate friend that has stood by our side through thick and thin, and therefore, deserve our understanding and a free pass???
Who knows....I suppose we just follow our gut - though that's not always right, is it?  What about the women who stand by their man after they continually verbally and/or physically abuse them, insisting he "doesn't mean it" and he's really "a good person"...???
I think, right or wrong i follow MY gut - trying to weigh what i know of the person vs. an act of stupidity.  I dont know if that makes me a good person or not - its just how i opperate.  Benefit of the doubt, trust, betrayal, loyalty, forgiveness?
Still, people always manage to surprise me, so...there you go.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Pizza, I didn't order any pizza! A.K.A. Research Project

O.k. now ladies and gentlemen.  Its time to put on our grown-up faces, hunker down, and get serious.  There is no reason to be bashful, or embarrassed or judgmental here.  We're amongst friends (right?).  I was recently asked by an anonymous friend if i could recommend some couple friendly, mildly pornographic films.  You know, something that might appeal to both men and women - or perhaps just women (although i cant imagine a porno in existence that wouldn't appeal to men.  I mean, come on, as long as there's 2 or more people having sex, how could it NOT?  Am i right men?).  So, here is what I've decided I would do for you ladies equally curious, and men looking to introduce something to your women...I would do a XXX movie review, for you!  Stay tuned - as my horizons broaden, I'll keep you posted.

Points of Interest #1

So, here are some things I've read recently that got me thinking.  Both coincidentally come from the same "news" site, Huffington Post....

I am a hard core, nerdlicious fan of So You Think You Can Dance (airing Wed. and Thurs. nights on the Fox network).  As a mom of three, i rarely have a must see show.  The kind you schedule your day around, shut the ringer off on the phone, live and die by show.  I was never able to keep up with such convoluted, intricately plotted shows such as 24, Lost, Heroes or those of similar character, where you miss one episode and your screwed  (Lucky for me, they are all over and done with so i dont have to feel like the odd man out in pop-culture TV society).  There are many great shows i wish i had time for, but that still require a commitment, Weeds, Fringe, In Treatment...but somehow, over 5 seasons now, come SYTYCD time, i find a way to make time in my week for the one show that continues to bring me adolescent joy (cuz lets face it, its geared toward youth) and wonderful abandon (cuz some of the routines are so full of physical and emotional abandon you cant help but be swept away in it...).  Long story short, (i know, i know - too late) I read this article yesterday and was kinda thrilled by what it was getting at...
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/miles-mogulescu/the-most-culturally-radic_b_645943.html
...in short, SYTYCD is "the most culturally radical show on TV.  Here the cultural wars of the last 30 years appear over."  And i LOVE THAT - because its probably, mostly TRUE!  A-Mazing!  People from every walk of life come together - no exclusions - have talent, accepted! And that is one of the things i have truly always loved about this show.  It IS based on talent (not mediocre crap you can kinda fake and wing by on with cute but ditsy personality) - these people are the real deal; making some thing your life, and working at it, training day in and day out.  And ok, cheese ball time, its really inspiring.  Plus, the choreography just kicks ass.  The only downer is the over the top comments by the judges, which i noticed Mr. Mogulescu alluded to in his article.  Its not so much for me the constant reminder to "get in character," and play a role, as much as it is the fits of tears, rants and hysterics that drags the serious nature of the performances down into the whole world of corny realty TV.  Those kids perform/dance their hearts out, and when the judges let out and ear splitting scream, or when a lower lip starts to quiver from sheer rapture, one cant help but gag and feel a bit nauseated from the overt and seemingly fake enthusiasm. 

So, am i pleased that the only show on TV that I religiously watch and swoon over is gaining notoriety and praise?  You bet!  Even more so that its being celebrated for something as exciting and encouraging as equal rights and equality!!!  Come on SYTYCD, change the world one dance at a time - who knows, maybe one day even the news will be brought to you in interpretive dance! :)

Thursday, July 15, 2010

A note from Kim

On a quick note - you may have noticed the format and overall look of our page has changed...aaaaaand it may do so again...and again. We're tinkering a bit with the feel and look.  After all, temperaments change, as do tastes; expect our page to do some changing as well.  In fact, if you dear readers (all 6 of you *smile*) have any input, feel free to share (unless KT says otherwise).

Summer: time for a good book!

So, i thought i would do some book reviews for the summer, but didn't quite know where to begin...
http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20355856_20399391,00.html
...this is where i finally ended up. It's a top6 list by none other than America's own world renowned author Mr. Stephen King (have you ever been to a bookstore and stumbled into the shelves with King's novels, they take up their own case!).  However, it is not for his horror writing prowess that i trusted this man to a top reading list, or the fact that he lived in Boulder, CO for a short time, but his blurb in Entertainment Weekly, which i find acutely accurate and insightful regarding culture and life (true).  It will be interesting to see how the group as a whole reads; will they share a common thread, perhaps something in the more morbid vein?  Or, can I trust as an author his tastes will prove broader?  I'll keep you posted as i make my way through his selections :)  I confess, i'm awfully excited!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

A word of Thanks

     So, I was watching The View today, yes, occasionally i catch Whoopi Goldberg, because i love her (the other women kinda drive me insane; who's too liberal, who's too conservative, who's too Barbara Walters...) and they discussed an article in New York magazine called, "I Love My Kids.  I Hate My Life."  Now, let me preface this rant with I HAVE NOT READ THE ARTICLE...i am responding to the discussion by the women on The View...
Apparently, more and more parents are coming out and admitting this "truth."  For them, there is a direct correlation between having children and their unhappiness.  I canNOT relate to this.  Jokingly the other day on my FB page, i said, "how can one minute my children make me so insane i want to scream and the next cry because they are growing up so fast i feel like its all slipping away; and i want to squeeze them and hold them and never let them go. Parenthood sucks. I mean its amazingly joyful blah blah blah."  This is a good opportunity to qualify that remark.  My children are air to me.  They are what makes the sun come up and go down.  They are why i get out of bed, put my best foot forward, try each day to be a better person...they are the glue that keeps my heart held together.  Thus, you may understand how they are the first and quickest to break it.  When my child is left out of a game of tag on the playground - when he is teased for his speech - when they have to monitor her respiratory rate because she "isn't thriving" - when when when - and God Help Me - IF IF IF (dont even get me started on the world of IF's)....its enough to bring you to your knees.  On top of that you worry; you choke on thoughts like, "am i getting this right?  Doing a good job?  Teaching them to have a good moral compass?   Am i screwing them up completely????  What are other mom and dads doing?"   And finally, lets face it, they are not always little rays of sunshine; "who chipped their brother's tooth?  You fed the baby WHAT?  Why, WHY would you think its o.k. to use your SOCK as WIPE YOUR ASS?!?"  So, what I'm saying is...every day, in every way, you feel like an emotionally worn out dish rag - so yeah, it sucks sometimes.  But then - they put their hand on your cheek when you're sad, (really), they kiss your boo boo's better, they tell you "good job" for cooking dinner, and you watch as they hand their baby sister her binki and dolly when she cries...they giggle until they cry, run like there is nothing holding them back, smile at you like you make their sun come up and go down....and you know, you know that if there is no heaven its because you've been given this time.  With these children.  And though there are days when you shatter apart, theirs are the little hands that pick up the pieces and hold you together.  They drive me insane, and keep me sane.
But though i cannot relate to these parents who "Love their kids. Hate their lives..." I have seen how there are responsibilities and anxieties and needs and unfair lots dealt and obstacles that can keep the joy away - so this is not a critique or a judgment of others....i guess its just my way of saying how grateful i am.  I am unfamiliar with this sad sentiment (and it is sad indeed) - and I am fortunate enough to Love my kids. Love my Life.  Thank you my babies, thank you.