Ch-ch-ch-changes

So it seems I spoke too soon - not quite out of the woods of depression yet.  But I'm working on it.

In somewhat related news, the depression, combined with some good talks with friends, has sparked a contemplative fire within me.  I can't stop thinking about Big Things and the Big Picture.  There are changes I'd like to make, but changes are scary and require effort and work to affect.  I'm not always so great at getting over my anxiety and lack of motivation to cause said changes, but I feel like it's time once again to move forward.  I know I'm being vague, but I'm not quite ready to commit to these changes, or admit to them for that matter.  Some of them are deeply personal.  While others, like reboarding the diet and exercise wagon, are more surface matter.

Last year was all about accepting who I am, this is the year that's supposed to be about moving forward.  It's already May and I feel like I've let myself down a bit.  But the year isn't over yet.  I don't want to put too much pressure on myself, but I'm tired of saying "I wish I was more this" and/or "I want to be more like that."  I can't change everything in my life, but there are certain things I definitely can if only I can stretch my boundaries just a little bit more.  One of my best friends told me how much better I am now as opposed to this time last year - I want him to be able to say the same thing about me next year.  Even better, I'd like him to be able to say it about me next week.

I want to be the person I want to become.

~Dorkopotamus (aka Katy)