Borrowing my hubby's computer tonight....
i know no one has been waiting around - peeking in time to time in hopes i might come back - thats better anyway for now. It will making writing easier if I know its mostly for myself ...
Im writing tonight cuz im loosing my grip - a bit. a wee bit.
Here's the thing....parenthood - how do you know? how do you know youre getting it right? I dont, i just know, for a while now, i havent liked how ive been as a mom. So all the kids are washed, changed, fed - and by the time i fiinish i have to start all over again - and there is no time - NONE - no time for fun - for learning - for adventures. Where is my energy for such things? Where is patience??? Im not tired, exactly - someone said i looked spent - and who cares really? Exept it makes everything else more difficult, and thats another thing, not only is it affecting how i interact with the kids, but im just falling apart - losing it, you know? And i keep looking for something deep down in myself to get a grip, grab hold of the day and make it what i want it to be...but there is just confusion and nerves....
I tell myself, "come on, get back up."
There are things i just want to do better, there is more i want to be, more that i expect of myself - i need to rally.
Come on, get back up.
You're a good mom because:
ReplyDelete1. you care
2. you are responsible and make sure the basic needs (house,food,clothes,cleanliness) of your children are met
3. you care
And I'm sure even though you're tired, and spent, and fraying around the edges, when your kids grow up (or are at least old enough to realize) they will know their mom has always loved them and taken care of them. There are a lot of parents out there who don't care, or if they do care, they only care when it's convenient. Kids who are neglected or pushed aside. Your kids aren't. I mean damn, I have 1 kid around and I can barely keep up. Yeah, there isn't time to have adventures when there's laundry and LIFE in the way, but it won't always be that way.
Sorry if that was long-winded but you sound like an awesome mom and I hate to see awesome moms beat themselves up.
And this is why Kristina is awesome - because she not only recognizes the awesomeness in other people, but is the kind of person who sees fit to tell them about their own awesitude.
ReplyDeleteI love you guys. :)
~Katy