Debbie Downer? More like, Kicking-Ass Kim - or something less lame.

That's it.  I've been wallowing unknowingly in some sort of one-woman pity party for too long - and I'm done.  It started, I believe, sometime this fall when i had a month of poor health and my Gram died during the same time.  I thought I had a kind of woe is me moment - but i think it was just the beginning of my current mindset.  I've been uncomfortable in my own skin - feeling stuck in a rut, and instead of finding solutions, I focus on what i cant do/accomplish or achieve in my limited circumstance.  It's done - no more I cant do this because i don't have that.  From now on its looking at the small things i can do in light of what I do have.  Two hands and an able body can get you farther than you think.  And the bullshit of taking out my depressed mood on those around me stops today as well!  It is not my husband or my children's fault I haven't found ways to move forward (They are my support/motivation/inspiration - so what the F*ck is my deal/problem?)  So, my larger goals are on hold for a while - there are still small steps I can manage to improve my happiness (for some reason, I've recently linked my happiness to who/what I can become - midwife/nurse/doula/artist/writer/mother extraordinaire...)

So, I'm here on this good green earth and there is no more waiting for tomorrow - because life is happening now and I'm done watching it fly by me.

Bucket List

1. Become a Midwife
2. Become a Doula
3. Learn how to play guitar
4. Wear a bikini
5. Swim in the largest swimming pool (San Alfonso del Mar in Chile)
6. Scuba dive with sharks
7. Travel to Italy
8. Travel to Scotland
9. Knit
10. Honeymoon in Hawaii
11. Buy car of my choice with own money.  (Pay cash).
12. Buy my parents house so they can always be in the home they love.
13. Visit Hagia Sophia
14. Climb glacier in New Zealand
15. Have pool in backyard.
16. Have library in home.
17. Learn to ride motorcycle.
18. Write novel.
19. Snowboard.
20. Practice nursing outside U.S.
21. Take children to N.Y.C. at Christmastime.
22. Buy father Corvette.
23. Live near brother.
24. Compete in triathlon
25. Attend a taping of The Late Late Show (and perhaps get Craig Ferguson to sign...an autograph).