Debbie Downer? More like, Kicking-Ass Kim - or something less lame.

That's it.  I've been wallowing unknowingly in some sort of one-woman pity party for too long - and I'm done.  It started, I believe, sometime this fall when i had a month of poor health and my Gram died during the same time.  I thought I had a kind of woe is me moment - but i think it was just the beginning of my current mindset.  I've been uncomfortable in my own skin - feeling stuck in a rut, and instead of finding solutions, I focus on what i cant do/accomplish or achieve in my limited circumstance.  It's done - no more I cant do this because i don't have that.  From now on its looking at the small things i can do in light of what I do have.  Two hands and an able body can get you farther than you think.  And the bullshit of taking out my depressed mood on those around me stops today as well!  It is not my husband or my children's fault I haven't found ways to move forward (They are my support/motivation/inspiration - so what the F*ck is my deal/problem?)  So, my larger goals are on hold for a while - there are still small steps I can manage to improve my happiness (for some reason, I've recently linked my happiness to who/what I can become - midwife/nurse/doula/artist/writer/mother extraordinaire...)

So, I'm here on this good green earth and there is no more waiting for tomorrow - because life is happening now and I'm done watching it fly by me.

Bucket List

1. Become a Midwife
2. Become a Doula
3. Learn how to play guitar
4. Wear a bikini
5. Swim in the largest swimming pool (San Alfonso del Mar in Chile)
6. Scuba dive with sharks
7. Travel to Italy
8. Travel to Scotland
9. Knit
10. Honeymoon in Hawaii
11. Buy car of my choice with own money.  (Pay cash).
12. Buy my parents house so they can always be in the home they love.
13. Visit Hagia Sophia
14. Climb glacier in New Zealand
15. Have pool in backyard.
16. Have library in home.
17. Learn to ride motorcycle.
18. Write novel.
19. Snowboard.
20. Practice nursing outside U.S.
21. Take children to N.Y.C. at Christmastime.
22. Buy father Corvette.
23. Live near brother.
24. Compete in triathlon
25. Attend a taping of The Late Late Show (and perhaps get Craig Ferguson to sign...an autograph).

On Writing

I wrote today.  For the first time in a long while.  I wrote poetry, and didn't think.  The words just came, and I didn't second-guess them.  And when I was finished, I had 13 lines that surprised me.  I can blame the music I was listening to, or my mood, or whatever, but really, it was just time to write again. 

I haven't expressed myself through writing like that in years.  Even my most recent writings have been with someone else reading them in mind, whereas this was just for me.  No audience allowed. 

Man, did that feel good.

~Dorkopotamus (aka Katy)

Losing It (Weight, That Is)

So I've got two weeks.  Two whole weeks until I leave for a fabulous long weekend in Las Vegas to celebrate my (eep!) 30th birthday.  And in that two weeks, I plan to lose between 5 (yay) and 10 (whoopie!) pounds.  Even with my half-assed dieting of late, I've gotten back to my starting point of pre-Colorado weight - 150lbs.  Not bad, but not where I want to be, either.

My thinnest "adult" weight was in senior year of high school - 135 lbs.  Now, to be fair, I wasn't finished, um how do you say, "filling out" at that point.  My breasts have grown in leaps and bounds since then, and as I've approached my 30s my weight has been redistributing itself (in pleasant ways, though, I must say).  So I think my ultimate goal of 140 lbs. is reasonable.  I can totally do this.  Course, I've been saying that for years, but this time I'm serious.  Course, I've been saying THAT for years as well, haha.

I have a teeny bikini I'd like to be able to confidently wear in Vegas, and two HOT dresses I want to look fabulous in!  So, today it begins in earnest.  Getting my ass to the gym tonight with a great friend of mine who's been egging me on to start exercising again for weeks.  Restarting the whole South Beach thing since it's worked so well for me in the past.  Hopefully journaling here about it will also help.

No more living in my head about this, and no more excuses. 

~Dorkopotamus (aka Katy)

A real yawn - but you know, i a good way.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/meditation/MM00623







Continuing with the "My Favorite Things" theme...this is a wonderful video - found at the Mayo Clinic website regarding meditation and relaxation.  I went there after a particularly trying time in my life - when i found nothing else was working to help ease the anxiety and stress that was proving to swallow me whole....it was during this desperate time I searched meditation on the web and stumbled across the MC website.  They talked quite a bit about the benefits of meditation - then went further to offer several videos and links on ways to bring meditation and relaxation into a daily routine.  Cool, Im all about making things easy and accessible in a busy life.   I love this video - whenever I use it I walk away feeling calmer :)  And while this might be the most boring post ever written (its takes too much effort to be wordy and creative when your freakin' sick) dont let that deter you from checking out the website.

It's called Guggle-Muggle (and no its not a spell from Harry Potter)...

So, this is actually a thing.  When i was pregnant and couldn't take cough syrup or cold medication, my mother would make me a batch of Guggle-Muggle - a cure for the cold she swore by my entire life - to help me find some relief.  I  thought this was some quaint boozy drink she picked up at college that she held onto fondly...but NO, it is real!  My household is sick today, and in lieu of medication, I thought I would whip up a batch of the old remedy, so i Googled it to find the recipe and sure enough, it is a real drink.  As a matter of fact, it is an old Jewish remedy that consists of warmed milk  and honey, usually with a raw egg yolk mixed in at the end topped off with a shot of brandy OR a bunch of citrus fruits (cooked/strained) and honey with a shot of brandy/whiskey to finish it.  My mother always made the latter (one grapefruit or apple, one orange,and one lemon cut and thrown in a pot with about 1-2 cups water - cooked down, pumelled then strained into a cup - add honey generously - then finish with shot of booze).  Seriously, this stuff has always worked for me.  Call it psychosomatic - call it and old wives tale - maybe its just the comfort a hot alcoholic drink can bring -  but it has always brought me some relief.  I invite you to try this old family recipe (that i was excited to learn today goes back a few many years) and see if it brings you the same comfort it always does me.

If I were Oprah, this would be one of my Favorite things...

Ok, quick plug here - Soapsbyshannon.com
These are probably the nicest all around soaps I've ever used (true story people).  Here are a few reasons why:
1.  Leaves my skin looking clean and soft - not clogged, cakey or oily - doesn't cause breakouts.
2.  Strong enough to clean everything else.
3.  (best part) Leaves you smelling gently and wonderfully of soap, which is awesome if you're not a perfume kinda gal, but are into smelling feminine and soft.
4. (also) All natural ingredients!!!
5. (2nd best part) So affordable.

So that's it my friends, go out and buy some - for you, for your lady (or man), for your girlfriends!!!  You can't go wrong!!!  You will Love this soap!

On the new picture

I've sat on hilltop, looking over the mountains - watching the clouds roll in and over me - I've closed my eyes and imagined I were one of those trees hanging off the cliff - suspended in heaven, yet deeply rooted to my spot. The world changes, the world moves, but how content I would be to sit there always; a witness to eternity, connected to earth. 

Back again cuz i can, or, What have you done for you lately?

Here's the thing guys and gals - I keep going back and forth on this blogging thing - I keep asking myself, who really cares about the minutia of my life? or really gives a crap about my opinion?  I'm just a boring housewife, with a totally ordinary life - and recently I was even put off by how much a friend shared in their blog about my life...I'm actually a rather private person - why would I put all my dirty laundry out there for the world to see/read?  Further more, I'm a habitual pleaser - I try so hard not to offend or upset people, it's a pastime!
But here's the thing....I LOVE to write.  Luuuv it!  And as a boring housewife, there isn't much opportunity for me in this venue, other than a little site that's sort of a hobby at times to put a thought or two into words and out there for someone to see (even if its no more than myself and a friend).  So, here I am, writing again - and even feeling sorry that I've thought so little of this particular outlet that I've put it off for so long. 
So, that's it.  If you happen to glance this way - cool, thanks - and anway, I'm just gonna keep writing when the mood strikes - after all, blogs are self indulgent aren't they, and this is kinda about me.