That's it. I've been wallowing unknowingly in some sort of one-woman pity party for too long - and I'm done. It started, I believe, sometime this fall when i had a month of poor health and my Gram died during the same time. I thought I had a kind of woe is me moment - but i think it was just the beginning of my current mindset. I've been uncomfortable in my own skin - feeling stuck in a rut, and instead of finding solutions, I focus on what i cant do/accomplish or achieve in my limited circumstance. It's done - no more I cant do this because i don't have that. From now on its looking at the small things i can do in light of what I do have. Two hands and an able body can get you farther than you think. And the bullshit of taking out my depressed mood on those around me stops today as well! It is not my husband or my children's fault I haven't found ways to move forward (They are my support/motivation/inspiration - so what the F*ck is my deal/problem?) So, my larger goals are on hold for a while - there are still small steps I can manage to improve my happiness (for some reason, I've recently linked my happiness to who/what I can become - midwife/nurse/doula/artist/writer/mother extraordinaire...)
So, I'm here on this good green earth and there is no more waiting for tomorrow - because life is happening now and I'm done watching it fly by me.
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